18-year-old refuses to invite his stepmom to his high school graduation because she locked him in a room when he was 6: 'She just doesn't know how to act.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 15, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

He has every right to exclude her from his special day.

Graduations can be hit or miss. There's something beautiful about the end of an era being marked by a big celebration where you don a funny hat. It gives a sense of completion to all of the years you spent slaving away on your degree.

My graduations were hit and miss. I liked my high school one a lot better than my college one, probably because I was much more excited about finishing high school than about college. It felt like my entire family was in town to celebrate, I got to sing the alma mater with the choir, and the sky was a stunning pink the night of graduation. At my college graduation, I was one of tens of thousands of students getting my degree. It was as hot as a leather car seat on a summer day, and the speaker was so mediocre. While these weren't the best days of my life by any means, I'm glad I attended. 

Would you skip your college graduation because an unwanted person was in attendance? If you haven't spoken to your mom in 10 years and she suddenly decides she wants to show up at your college graduation, I'd understand if you didn't want to attend. Why should she get the satisfaction of feeling pride for you when she hasn't supported your pursuit of education at all? 

The young graduate in this story does not want his dad's wife to attend the ceremony, because that means he'll have to exclude one of his family members, because he has limited tickets to give out.

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  • Man in blue academic dress and academic hat standing near green tree during daytime
    via NISCHAL MALLA

    A high school graduate who does not want his dad's wife to come to his graduation ceremony. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Would I be the bad guy if I didn't invite my dad's wife to my high school graduation?

    My (18M) parents had a rough divorce, and my Dad immediately moved on and got married to his former high school gf (before my mom). So my dad's wife was someone who was forced into my life without me wanting her in it. She
    via u/roolw
  • doesn't have kids, so she's always clingy and trying to make it seem like me and my sister are her kids and we are this one happy big family. Imo, excuse my language, she is emotionally and socially a dumba . She just doesn't
    via u/roolw
  • know how to act. Once when they first got married, they had a get together and me and the kids were apparently making lots of noise so she took us to a room and locked us in (she was inside with us). She
    via u/roolw
  • refused to let us out unless we vowed to not make any more noise (we were 6 and 7). Would love to add the fact that I got a lot of sh for that because "she was just joking" and I "don't know how to take a joke". She just doesn't know how to act.
    via u/roolw
  • Woman in pink shirt sitting beside girl in pink shirt
    via HiveBoxx

    Stepmom hanging out with her husband's son after she locked herself into a room with him "as a joke."

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This is going to sound crazy, but I actually love her mother (my dad's MIL). She's stood by my side during a lot of problems and has called out her daughter's behavior.
    via u/roolw
  • Now my graduation is coming up. My mom thinks I need to invite her because I have previously stayed over at her vacation home, in addition to the fact that she doesn't have kids and I am "the closest thing she'll ever have to kids". Now she
    via u/roolw
  • and my Dad were very horrible to me in their first year of marriage, so personally, I've never liked her, and still kind of resent my Dad for the way things went.
    via u/roolw
  • I don't have enough tickets to invite her anyway, in addition to the fact that even if I did I want to invite people that in a way or another raised me or helped my parents raise me. Those include my
    via u/roolw
  • grandparents, and my aunt and uncle (who one of which doesn't have a kid and I'm the actual closest thing he'll ever have to a kid, in addition to the fact that I share last name with him).
    via u/roolw
  • My mom thinks it's going to be very awkward for my Dad to leave the house to go to my grad, and for her to ask him and for him to reply and say [my name]'s grad. I think it's insanely inappropriate for her to be there, my mom is trying to avoid problems with my
    via u/roolw
  • dad. But what business does she have being at the same event (concerning me) with my mom and grandma. Personally, I don't care about what people will think. I care about my happiness and the fact that I don't want her there. I feel
    via u/roolw
  • like I shouldn't need to justify this to anyone and it's my decision. I probably need to get over a lot of the things that happened in the past, but that's an issue for another day. Inviting her won't
    via u/roolw
  • change that. Just to add, if I wanted to invite her, I'd have to sacrifice inviting one of my aunts/uncles. Which I'm not doing, and I'd rather not have a graduation then invite her. Also I wasn't invited to their wedding.
    via u/roolw
  • Man in suit holding woman in white dress
    via Sinitta Leunen

    Dad is getting married to his wife, without his son in attendance.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Glittering-Paper4516 Just invite him. "Hey Dad, tickets were extremely limited- I'm sure you and wife will understand. Looking forward to seeing you" If he makes a fuss? Says he won't come? "I'm really disappointed to hear that Dad. This isn't personal, it's logistics."
    via u/Glittering-Paper4516
  • roolw OP That's a good idea. Thank you.
    via u/roolw
  • Ok_Tonight_3703 NTA. It's your decision not your mother's. She locked in a room when you were a child and nobody thought that was unhinged? "... My mom thinks I need to invite her because I have previously stayed over at her vacation home, in addition to the fact that she doesn't have kids and I am 'the closest thing she'll ever have to kid's'...”
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • So what? You are not her child and she did a sh job of trying to connect with you when you were you g. Locking you a room with her is not the way to bond with a child. Stop discussing this with your mother. Invite who you want. Don't JADE, justify, argue, defend or explain. Givd out the invites. If your father chooses not to come oh well. Sounds like he was a good dad anyway. Congratulations on your graduation!
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • roolw OP They thought it was a funny joke, and that I can't take a joke. Exactly! Thank you!
    via u/roolw
  • Gullible_Fun_1410 Do what you want but keep the same energy going forward
    via u/Gullible_Fun_1410

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invitation graduation childhood teenagers closet stepmom dad high school mom
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